Sitting in church next to FH (First Husband). The children were spending the weekend with their grandparents so it was just hubby and me. Where we attended church, communion trays are passed down each row, like you may have seen in the movie "Places in the Heart." FH had his arm around my shoulders and when we were passing the wine, from one person to the next, I thought he had a hold of the tray.... and he thought I had a hold of the tray. And, about the time we realized the tray was suspended in mid-air, we both lunged for it.
BLAM! We slammed the tray into the back of the pew in front of us. Little cups of grape juice popped out and flew everywhere! In the hair of the woman in front of me, on the seat, in our laps ... streams of grape juice ran down my leg.
We repositioned what was left of the communion cups and passed the sticky tray on to the next person. Was there any left? Not likely. The usher carried the tray on out.
FH and I were frozen. Maybe if we sat rrrrreal still, no one would notice. A few minutes later an usher came back to our row and passed over a handful of paper towels.
Just so you know, Folks. Yes, in case you missed it. The mess is over here. Right in the middle of the auditorium. Remain calm. Everything is under control.
I remember two things very clearly. The woman sitting next to us was the most immaculate woman at church and she was the one who handed me the paper towels.
And, I remember feeling that I would burst into giggles like Mary Tyler Moore in that classic funeral scene, if I moved a muscle.
Too bad the kids were not with us. We could have blamed them!
12 hours ago