Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Directionally challenged - even on Memory Lane

This entry was originally posted on AOL, 8/5/2005. I have moved since that time and no longer have easy access to Josey Lane. More's the pity when gas is $3.50 a gallon and I spend too much time wandering around!

PhotobucketWhy is it, when I have a 50 - 50 chance of getting it right, I consistently turn the wrong way? Was I born with an internal compass chip missing? Before I started to drive I never noticed, but from the first time I sat behind the wheel, I have never been certain - left or right? Don't even try to tell me something is North or South, East or West!

My dad still shakes his head when we talk about how confused I would get backing out of the driveway. During the time I had my learner's permit, I was allowed to drive the family to church. Now, I had been to the same church multiple times a week ever since we had moved to this town, but as I put the car in reverse and slowly backed out the driveway, I had to step on the brake, turn to my dad and ask, "Which way?" For a man who traveled for a living, he was not amused.

Luckily, I did not move often after I started to drive so eventually I paid enough attention to be able to get myself back home after a trip to the store. And, since I have lived in larger communities all of my adult life, I can eventually find anything I want in every direction. Yes, I meant to go this way!!

There is a major street near me and, if I can find my way to Josey Lane, I can survive! I have checked and in addition to the police station, the post office, a fire station, a public library, a hospital, dentists, eyecare and every imaginable type of medical doctor, I have access to multiple pharmacies, banks, gas stations, dry cleaners, department stores, and 17 varieties of drive through fast food all on this very special street. It gives me a peaceful feeling that I will not have to make any turns until I have reached my destination.

Everyone who is directionally challenged should have a Josey Lane nearby! Within a seven mile strip there is also a bakery, tailor, florist, locksmith, travel agent, humidor, and vet. I can get my shoes repaired, shop antiques, put my old clothes on consignment, arrange for insurance, get financial counseling, receive check cashing assistance, or put things in storage.

I can shop for groceries in at least three different languages. I can enjoy multiple buffets or sit down dining. To meet my personal needs, I can have my hair done, get a manicure, pedicure, facial, tan, exercise, or be tattooed. I can be tutored, take karate lessons, learn to dance, indulge my hobbies or find all my party supplies.

Without turning a corner I can hire a maid or temporarily staff my office, get my vacuum cleaner repaired, upgrade my computer, play pool, sing karaoke, rent videos, or receive physical therapy. I can go to rehab or buy discount shoes, cigarettes, tires and beauty supplies. My car will not lack for attention on Josey Lane since there I can purchase it gas, auto parts, have the oil changed, the brakes checked, as well as have it lubed or inspected. If I am ready for a change I can even replace it with a used car.

Yes, I have found nirvana and her name is Josey. But one thing is missing. There is no funeral home on Josey. But then, I do not have to worry about getting lost while trying to find it - someone else will be driving.


Leigh said...

Hi Donna, I've been a reader for a short time(before we uprooted). I love this entry, as I can "so" relate. But, I'm finding a few of the side streets. :) This new town will take some getting used to, but I've seen many familiar faces.
Multiple comment: Your Miss L. is a sweetie, I'll bet she'll be saying Trick or Treat in no time. And your Sept.23rd entry-I have a gratitude journal that I try to write in, to remind myself of the things that do go right in my life. I just don't always remember to use it.
Feel free to stop by! :) Leigh

Indigo said...

Hi hon, I'm delighted to see you this side of the blogsphere! (Hugs)Indigo

Jeannette said...

Like you I am copying and pasting some of my entries over to my new blog here at Blogspot.

Interesting to read, thank you.

Missie said...

I'm glad you followed the migration over to blogger.

Lori said...

Loved this entry! I've always been really good with directions, but my kids take after their father, so I kind of know what you mean. When they need directions from someone they always have me take them down, although my daughter is starting to get better -- much better than my son and husband! lol Come over and visit me at my new blog.