I know I still have not heard it all

I manage a 24 hour call center and it never ceases to amaze me the reasons/excuses I get for why people cannot come into work or why they are late. Here are just a few from this past week...

• 2 PM on Saturday "I am taking my husband to the emergency room but I am going to try to come in later." 11:59 PM that same day, "We are still here at the emergency room but they have not seen him yet." When I reminded her that she needs to bring a doctor's note any time she misses her shift and has had to go to the doctor for herself or a family member, "Well the time may be off a little." Ya think? The date and time on the note was from AFTER our last conversation. And, her husband still did not see the doctor so they do not know what is wrong with him. Hmmm.
• "I fell asleep in my car."
• "It's raining too hard."
• "My throat is scratchy and I think there are germs on my keyboard."
• "I have to study for my tests."

And the #1 excuse I heard this week (and I may never be able to top this one),

• "I have to leave (after being at work 30 mins.) because my girlfriend fell off the pole at work and they think she may have broken her leg." Fell off the pole?? "Yeah, she is an entertainer ... stripper and she had probably been drinking."