It finally feels like Fall

I am so happy that the summer heat has passed and we are finally enjoying temperatures in the 70s during the day here. I love Fall and the high school football games and winter rye grass. Since we do not get to enjoy the bright fall foliage in this part of Texas, I enjoy the contrast of scalped yards and newly planted pansies. If the weather stays relatively stable this winter, those pansies will be around well into next year.

Sport has come home for a visit. The volatile stock market has been a roller coaster for him (and everyone one else, I know) but since he has the ability to do his work from any "port in a storm" he is spending time here while still connecting with his clients coast to coast. As I have often said, "Ain't technology grand?!" I believe when times get tough, even the most independent child will seek the familiarity of home. Of course, if he reads this I will never hear the end of it!! His business, while not on Wall Street, is directly tied to the market, stocks, bonds and portfolios so I pray for him daily that he does not have a stroke before "we see where the bottom is."

The State Fair of Texas is in full swing and, except for a little rain yesterday, the weather could not be more perfect. I will probably not make it this year since I still have some trouble walking and do not want to slow others by my pace. But, I have heard all about it from one of my coworkers. She has spent a good bit of time online researching what foods she would eat when she got there. It seems that they will fry anything that will stick to a stick. Fried jelly beans. Chicken fried bacon. (Just close my veins down now!!) Deep fried, batter dipped cookie dough. Ugh. While it may cause some to salivate in appreciation, it just makes my stomach churn. Now, whip me up a big pink paper cone of cotton candy and I'm right there with you. When I was growing up, the State Fair was the one time a year I got cotton candy. These days you can get it almost anywhere including in deflated plastic bags at WalMart. I wonder if it would feel like the fair if I bought a bag, sat on a bench at Wally World and just watched the people? Maybe on a Saturday!

What is your favorite part of a fair? The food, the booths, the new cars, watching the people?

Lots of fun things planned for the weekend. Dinner with the kids and Miss L tomorrow. "Day of Repair" Saturday with a manicure and haircut, and then an evening out with friends going to see the live passion play "The Promise." More about that next week.

Embarrassing Moments Part IV - with my sister

This is a repeat of an entry from my AOL journal. I am trying to get all my Embarrassing Moments in one place so I hope you enjoy the rerun. This is another opportunity for me to share a memory with my sister. Enjoy it, Laurie Green! (my pet name for her).

For most of the last 30 years, I have lived in Texas and my sister has lived in Florida. About 12 years ago, while I was single again, LG came to spend a week with me in Texas. I did not have the funds to travel much but we decided we would enjoy antiquing in a community not far from me, in Jefferson, Texas. It is a beautiful area and has many old homes refurbished into bed and breakfast inns.

LG and I decided to spend the 4th of July weekend in Jefferson and I made reservations for us to stay at the Azalea Inn. I spoke with Jo, the proprietor, about what kind of arrangements they had and how the rooms were styled. LG and I wanted to make sure we were going to be in an appropriate, antique setting and what Jo described sounded perfect. Since the rooms were typically used for romantic getaways I understood that we would be sharing a queen size bed. We would make due and I would try not to kick LG too much in my sleep.

On the way to Jefferson, LG and I stopped at an outlet mall and, among other purchases, we bought matching red, white and blue flag shoes and straw hats with patriotic scarves tied to them. Oh, yes, we were stylin'!!

By the time we arrived at the Inn, it was after dark. There was a note on the front door from Jo telling us she and her husband had gone to a Chamber of Commerce meeting in town and to make ourselves at home. Breakfast was to be served at 8:30 AM and we were in Room 1, the Victorian Room.

The room was lovely, with a brass four poster bed, delicate floral prints and lace curtains. LG and I brought in our suitcases and began to settle in. We were looking forward to a good night's sleep and a big day of sight-seeing and shopping the next day.

This was shortly after my sister had been diagnosed with MS and she was taking an experimental medication. That meant she had to receive an injection every five days and it was significantly more trouble than the daily insulin shots she already required. The MS shot had to be administered deep into the muscle and the medication, while painful, also had to go in slowly. This meant these injections were in that muscular part on the backside of her hip, too far back for LG to inject herself. Since her husband was not with us it was Big Sister to the rescue! I knew I could give her the shot and it was really not that big a deal for us. LG and I had been around syringes most of our lives, first with her Juvenile Diabetes and later with allergy shots that my parents gave to us at home. Of course, the syringe with this medicine was significantly larger than an insulin or allergy syringe but that would not stop me.

We got the shot ready and while I sat on the bed, she backed up to me and lowered her shorts. She asked me to find the mark from where her husband had given her the last injection. "Look for the red dot. That's where you need to give it to me. Do you see it?"

I believe she might have been a bit nervous, too. Ya, think??

I had to tell her, as I swabbed her backside with alcohol, "I don't see any red dot, Laurie Green. Just your very white hienie!" And, I patted her butt. I started to give her the shot and heard some noise on the front porch outside our window.

A few seconds later there was a knock on our door. I was still administering the medication, slowly, slowly .... so we called out, "Just a minute."

I finished the shot, LG pulled up her pants and we answered the door. There was sweet little Jo, who introduced herself and then suggested, "You girls need to close your curtains." We turned around and realized that since we had arrived after dark, we thought the lace curtains were the window coverings. But no, there were additional blinds that needed to be pulled down, BEHIND the lace drapes.

LG and I looked at each other and then at Jo and realized what had just happened. She said something about coming back from the Chamber meeting and our bedroom windows are on the front of the house ..... We started to try and tell her that I was giving my sister a shot but she stopped us. "That's okay, you don't have to explain anything."

No, really. This is my sister and I was just giving her a shot!!

I will never forget the pained look on her face. By now LG and I are laughing, thinking back to what had been witnessed through the lace curtains in the seconds before the knock on our door. Jo was really trying to back away but we were laughing so hard and insisting we had to explain.

As it turns out, just as I was patting my sister's rear end, Jo, her husband and the couple that owned the B&B next door were coming up the front walk and onto the porch. The couple next door decided to go on home.

As we got ready for bed we could not stop laughing. For hours, just as we would wind down from our conversations in the dark, one of us would start to giggle and then we could not calm down. The next morning at breakfast we learned that Jo had already shared the story with the other guests. Her husband, she said, was so embarrassed he was hiding out. We never did meet him the whole weekend!

As we shopped at the various stores in town, in our matching shoes and hats, everyone was in a festive holiday mood. They were so friendly and people would talk to us and often ask where we were staying. When we said, The Azalea Inn, they would smile, nod, pause and then say, with a knowing look "Ooohhhhh ... you're at Jo's place."

We're sisters! We did not know the blinds were up!

It turns out Jo had been on the phone to friends in town, sharing the story. She told everyone it was the first time she had ever been mooned by a guest!

Embarrassing Moments Part III - It's funny now.

Sitting in church next to FH (First Husband). The children were spending the weekend with their grandparents so it was just hubby and me. Where we attended church, communion trays are passed down each row, like you may have seen in the movie "Places in the Heart." FH had his arm around my shoulders and when we were passing the wine, from one person to the next, I thought he had a hold of the tray.... and he thought I had a hold of the tray. And, about the time we realized the tray was suspended in mid-air, we both lunged for it.

BLAM! We slammed the tray into the back of the pew in front of us. Little cups of grape juice popped out and flew everywhere! In the hair of the woman in front of me, on the seat, in our laps ... streams of grape juice ran down my leg.

We repositioned what was left of the communion cups and passed the sticky tray on to the next person. Was there any left? Not likely. The usher carried the tray on out.

FH and I were frozen. Maybe if we sat rrrrreal still, no one would notice. A few minutes later an usher came back to our row and passed over a handful of paper towels.

Just so you know, Folks. Yes, in case you missed it. The mess is over here. Right in the middle of the auditorium. Remain calm. Everything is under control.

I remember two things very clearly. The woman sitting next to us was the most immaculate woman at church and she was the one who handed me the paper towels.

And, I remember feeling that I would burst into giggles like Mary Tyler Moore in that classic funeral scene, if I moved a muscle.

Too bad the kids were not with us. We could have blamed them!

Embarrassing Moments Part II - in my twenties

When our children were young, FH (First Husband) and I lived on a very tight budget. FH took a second job as the cashier, one night a week, at a large, local auction. This auction house specialized in costly antiques, primarily shipped from England. FH would tell me, week after week, of all the interesting and beautiful pieces that passed through the doors and the high prices people were willing to pay for quality items. He encouraged me to come by some evening and see what it was like.

So one night, I arranged with a friend to watch the little ones and I headed to the auction. I was thrilled at the prospect of being around other adults for a bit and, even though I knew I would not buy anything, it was going to be fun to watch.

When I arrived, FH was seated at the cashier's station in the foyer. There was already a line of people paying for the items they had just purchased so I just waved and went into the main auction area. I sat close to the back and observed for a few minutes. I longingly eyed the large pieces of furniture that lined the walls.

About three items after my arrival, the auctioneer began to describe a lovely leaded-glass window composed of 9 panes and a weathered frame. I thought of how it might look decorating my country-styled home. $3... $3.50 .... $4 ... The auctioneer was talking so fast, describing the worth. I perked up. $5 .... now that was an item I could afford!! The bidding slowed down at $6.50.... my hand shot up - $7

SOLD! It was mine!

"What's your number?" asked the auctioneer.

Number? I didn't have a number -

"Your paddle number."

Oops.

"Go to the back of the room and register. They will give you a number to claim your purchase."
What was that other thing he just said to me? Something about 7 and 9 panes ... I headed to the registration table. Funny I had not seen it in my haste when I arrived.

The gentleman carrying the window followed me and so did the owner of the auction. The big man himself. The guy the auction was named after ... my husband's boss. He and I had never met and as he approached me, I did not feel this was the appropriate time for introductions.

"What's going on here?" he asked. (It seemed more like a bellow to me.)

"She's not registered, Sir. It is not a problem. We are getting her registered right now."

Okay. I had my number and was then directed to the table where I could claim my recent purchase. The Big Boss followed me.

"Alright. That will be $7 times nine panes ... $63.00." GULP!

I felt my stomach doing somersaults. The clerk might as well have said, $63,000. I could not afford an old window for $63 no matter what cute decorating ideas had filled my head. My husband was sitting out there working a second job! I had gone out on a limb with even the $7 purchase. I mumbled something to the effect that I thought the total purchase price was $7. I could not afford it. I did not have $63. By now I was whispering and could feel my face turning scarlet.

Big Boss exploded. "Then why were you bidding? ... People come in here and don't know what they are doing ... now we will have to put it back up again!"

All I could do was apologize over and over. As he escorted me toward the foyer, he made himself clear.

"I want you to leave!"

Yes, Sir.

"I do not want you to come back here. You've got no business being here."

No, Sir ... I won't. I promise.

We were now in the lobby and FH looked up to see me, red-faced, being guided toward the door.

He started to get up but I motioned to him in a short-hand as if to say, "Don't. You don't know me." He froze. I'm pretty sure I also saw a look of relief.

I apologized again and headed to the parking lot. About a minute later FH joined me, standing next to the car. I explained what had happened. Big Boss did not know who I was.

"Please don't tell him I'm your wife."

"Don't worry. I won't."

FH then assured me that his boss had a reputation for his outbursts. He consoled me as the floodgates opened and the tears came.

I lived through that night but for over 10 years, my hands would sweat and my heart would race if I even saw an auction on television. When I finally did attend another auction, as a fund raiser for a civic event, I literally sat on my hands. Who knew what I might buy otherwise??

Exhausted from the move

I have spent so much time trying to move my AOL journals over to Blogger that I had just stopped posting altogether. It seems I moved the journals over to one gmail account while this journal is on Blogger under an AOL email account. Now what?? For now I give up. The journals are not lost, just a bit confusing. And, I have Comment alerts coming at me from all directions to more than one email account. LOL Too much of a good thing.

This is going to be a fun weekend. Sport decided to drive in from Colorado yesterday and will probably be staying with me for a few days. His business is such that as long as he has access to his phone and computer, he can work from anywhere. He is also going to be in his friends wedding next week so we will get to spend some time together before he has to go back to Denver. I just wish I could convince him to move back to Big D.

Tonight I am babysitting Miss L while TenderHeart and her husband have a night on the town celebrating her birthday. Miss L had tubes put in her ears again this past week and this time they also removed her adenoids. She was given some pain meds and had a horrible reaction over the next two days. In spite of the Benadryl the pediatrician had recommended she had red, hot, itchy welts all over her body which just got worse. When her knees swelled and were hot they ended up in the emergency room. Miss L was treated with steroids and seems to be fine now. I will try to get the pictures transferred from TenderHeart's account to mine. You would not believe what she looked like!

I am trying not to be too reactionary but the economy scares me. The only thing that seems to be going well right now is that gas prices are dropping. There was even a gas war here between a couple of stations and it got as low as $1.85 a gallon. I missed it but saw it on television. Wouldn't you know?! I guess I will be content with $3.15.

So, how are things going with you??

Sometimes things just creep up on you

The diet starts today!!

Me? Idiosyncrasies? Nah!

- id·i·o·syn·cra·sy – a personal peculiarity, mannerism; structural or behavioral characteristic peculiar to an individual or group

This is a meme I did on 9/21/05. Not sure who all is reading my journal these days or who enjoys memes so I hope you will play along.

Write down five of your own personal idiosyncrasies and then, if you wish, tag five people. Include your list in the comments here or, if you have a journal, come back and add a link in the comments section, so we can check out your personal quirks. It’s only fair!!

1. I do not talk when I first wake up. I am so not a morning person and for at least thirty minutes my Greta Garbo attitude, "I vant to be alone!" is in full swing. I don't smoke or drink coffee so I just have to wait for something to kick-start my day. Any suggestions?

2. I have a thing about soup broth with anything floating in it. I can eat a thick beef stew but I just cannot stomach a vegetable soup. If it is a thin liquid with floaty things, I'm outta there.

3. Don't ask me to work up a sweat! I do not care if it is an activity I love or not, I do not ever want to feel drops of moisture forming on my body, much less rolling off of me.

4. I cannot sleep unless a fan is blowing directly on me. Ceiling fans are not enough - they are too far away.

5. I may not always remember a name but I NEVER seem to forget a face. Best example of this: I saw a distinguished man at church and realized he was the son of friends of my parents, in another city, when I was in Junior High and he was in college. And, it had been 25 years since I had last seen him or his family. I just had to approach him and verify that he was the guy I remembered. Yes, it was and he was married and a father of three teenagers by then. Freaky!

Okay. That is enough about me. Now about you.

Embarrassing Moments Part I - the college years

Something triggered my memory this week of an embarrassing moment and even though it happened over 30 years ago, it still made me laugh. Unfortunately, I have now been mentally rehashing ALL of my most embarrassing moments.

When I was a freshman in college, I was invited to go to a fraternity banquet with someone I did not know very well. He was a member of the university’s award winning track team and many of the other members of his club were as well. I knew some of the upperclassmen and their dates and was very excited to be included in this group’s inner circle, even if it was just for one night.

This was in the late 70s and I chose to wear a long dress with a gathered white bodice with a scooped neck, a tightly fitted waist and a flowing black skirt. I was grateful for the gathers through the bust line since I felt woefully inadequate in that area. From the looks of the upper-class girls, I just knew the next couple of years were going to be times of significant physical change for me. A girl could dream, right?

On this evening I decided to give nature a little help so I took a couple of handfuls of cotton balls and stuffed them into the bottom of each side of my bra to give me the extra oomph I so desired. Perfecto! (Keep in mind this was decades before the water-filled Wonder Bra so I thought I had been rather ingenious.) With a big smile I was off to the ball.

Imagine my horror, when half way through the evening I went to the restroom and saw myself in the mirror under the unforgiving florescent lights. Beneath the white gathers, were numerous round lumps creating a subtle polka dot effect next to my skin. The cotton balls had worked their way out of my bra and were headed north. Why not? There was nothing holding them back!!

I can still see my shocked reflection in the mirror and feel my cheeks getting hot. A couple of the upper-class girls were in the restroom and were so sweet, reassuring me that probably no one had even noticed between the dimmed lighting in the banquet, my shawl wrap and the gathers. God bless them!

To be honest, I cannot remember another thing about that evening. My brain has protected me. I daresay, I was so traumatized I probably split personalities at that moment and “Penelope” enjoyed the rest of the night!


originally posted on AOL 9/17/05

Seven Things

Originally posted on AOL 9/6/05 Updated today to be relevant

7 Things I Plan To Do Before I Die :
1. Be a grandmother. HEY, I HAVE DONE THIS. NEW ITEM > See my son marry.
2. Take an Alaskan cruise.
3. Take a photography class.
4. Ride in a hot air balloon.
5. Be in Vermont in the fall when the leaves turn.
6. Get my passport stamped at least one more time.
7. Find true love.

7 Things I Can Do:
1. Speak in front of a large crowd.
2. Carry a tune.
3. Make people laugh.
4. Be diplomatic in the most difficult situations.
5. Spot a typo or grammatical error even when I am not looking or listening for it. It is a curse and drives me crazy, especially if I cannot do anything about it.
6. Be creative (not artsy but craftsy/creative).
7. Cook.

7 Things I Can't Do:
1. Converse in a language other than English.
2. Sing well enough that people want to hear more.
3. Ride on a roller coaster.
4. Get into a size 10.
5. Keep from getting lost.
6. Eat with chopsticks.
7. Keep from crying when I am really mad.

7 Things That Attract Me to the Opposite Sex:
1. Sense of humor.
2. Intelligence.
3. Muscular legs.
4. Hairy chest but not hairy shoulders.
5. Eyes like Kurt Russell or Patrick Swayze (before his plastic surgery).
6. Tough but tender.
7. Spiritual depth.

7 Things I Say Most Often:
1. Oh, my word!!
2. Anyway ...
3. I'm lost.
4. Help me understand why you .... (believe that, say that, want that, think that, etc.)
5. Please/thank you
6. Excellent!
7. Awwwww...

7 Celebrity Crushes:
1. John Travolta (no matter what he weighs)
2. Kurt Russell
3. Shemar Moore (the gorgeous guy with the cornrows in "Diary of an Angry Black Woman")
4. George Clooney
5. David Keith (An Officer and a Gentleman)
6. John Denver (He will always hold a special place in my heart.)
7. Craig Ferguson (Late Night with ...)

7 People I Want to Do This:
Any seven people that followed me to Blogspot! Last time this list included the following
1. Jodi http://journals.aol.com/dornbrau/ThroughtheEyesoftheBeholder/
2. Anna http://journals.aol.com/mombzbe/LivinlavidaMommy/
3. Suzy http://journals.aol.com/suzypwr/Idonotrecallhavingamemoryproblem/
4. Sonya http://journals.aol.com/bookncoffee/MySouthernHome/
5. Betty http://journals.aol.com/lv2trnscrb/Ofmini-pawsandmenopause/
6. Robin http://journals.aol.com/RobinNGabster/Thesearethedaysofourlives/
7. Meg http://journals.aol.com/megzie212

Sneaking out of the house

originally posted on AOL 8/27/05

A question was posed to me recently, asking if I had ever snuck out of the house as a teenager. While I was in the minority, I truthfully answered that I had not. What I failed to admit (but am choosing to disclose here in all its glory) is that I did sneak out of the house as a grown woman – married and the mother of two children.

What possessed me?? My close friend at the time, whom I shall fictitiously call Pam, was in a very unhappy marriage. We were both in our early thirties and she frequently confided in me about the concerns she had regarding her husband’s behavior. For someone on the outside looking in, it seemed obvious to me that her husband was running around on her. I knew, too, that he had already had one affair and had even made a pass at me one time. She would describe his unusual schedule and ask me if it sounded reasonable to me. An auditor (fictitious but similar occupation) that had to leave the house at 2 AM to “go to the office”?! Yeah, right!! But, on the occasions she had called his office to check on him, he either answered or called back later with a semi-acceptable explanation (he had gone to use the copier and did not see his message light on the phone, etc.) Keep in mind that this was in the days before carrying a cell phone was the norm. Cell phones at this time were expensive and the size and weight of a cheap brick.

After many weeks of conversations about her unhappiness and fears, I could not stand it any more. I offered to follow him and try to get to the bottom of the truth. The Best Friend Private Eye Company at your service, ma’am. After we went back and forth about it for a couple more weeks, we finally decided that the next time he said he was going into the office in the middle of the night, she would let me know and I was going to follow him. One evening the call came. Perfect timing! My husband’s car was in the shop and he was driving a rental. I could drive that car and Mr. Scummy Husband would never recognize it!

At my house no one knew my plans. Everyone went to bed as usual but I lay there, wide-awake, knowing I had a mission to perform. Mr. SH had told his wife he was leaving at 2 AM. So, I slid out of bed, dressed and headed to my friend’s neighborhood. I drove to their street around 1:30AM and parked my car, facing their house. Sitting there, with the car lights turned off, I could hear the pounding of my heart in the darkness. Sure enough, at 2 AM he opened the garage door and I swear I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest. He rolled the trash containers down to the curb. (Okay. He had a redeeming quality.) I scrunched down below the steering wheel, fearful that I would be seen. Holding my breath. After a few minutes, he backed his car out of the driveway and headed out of the neighborhood.

There was no other activity on their street at that time of the morning and, not wanting to raise suspicion, I waited until he turned out of the neighborhood before I turned on my lights and followed. I knew the path he would have to take – one that led to the highway which then connected to any other direction he would need to go.

As I pulled on to the main road that led to the highway I saw his taillights in the distance. Pace yourself. Pace yourself. Breathe. Don’t let him see you. Stay back. As we approached the entrance to the highway, the lights overhead illuminated his car. But it wasn’t his car!!! Where was he?? I panicked. How had I lost him that easily? Had he seen me? Was he aware of my presence and now he was following me?? Yes!! There he was! A few cars back on the interstate – in the next lane over. I knew I was busted!

What would he tell my husband?? What would he say to his wife? What if we were wrong in our suspicions?? Oh, why was I doing this?? I picked up my “for emergency use only” cell/brick and called my friend. Oh, no! She could not believe I had actually done it. But then, she was the one who gave me the heads up on his schedule that evening, right? She suddenly felt that it was not a good idea to begin with! Duh! Little late for hindsight now.

At this point I am driving down the highway, scrunched down behind the wheel, talking on the cell phone at 2:15 AM and feeling like I am going to be sick. I told Pam I would keep her posted. Heck! My cover was already blown. I sat up straight and took a deep breath. Mr. SH was coming up on my right side. He passed me without so much as a glance toward my car. Yipee! He had not recognized the car. He did not know it was me! PTL

I quickly called Pam back and told her of our good fortune. Now what? She left it up to me. Safer that way. She could later claim ignorance. Of course, if caught, that was going to be my defense. I was ignorant! Stupid! Crazy! Who would challenge that?

I realized that the way I had missed him earlier had to have been because he pulled into the gas station we passed. Maybe he had been suspicious. Perhaps he thought he might be followed. Regardless. I was in full-blown Mission Impossible mode. “Your mission, should you decide to accept it …” Of course, I was going for it now! Mr. SH was picking up speed as he headed toward town. I had to quickly catch up and yet stay far enough behind to not be caught.

On through the night we drove. Where was he headed? To his office downtown? No… we exited off the highway. Best Friend following Scummy Husband. It was tougher to keep up now. I saw where we were headed. The part of town where the nightlife never slept. The hookers, the drug deals, the street lights shot out. I lost him on a back street, with my friend on the line. Where he was going or what he was doing was merely speculation at that point. I had failed in my mission. And, now I was lost at 2:45 in the morning!! Pam tried to help guide me out of my mess but neither of us was that familiar with the downtown area. Finally, I told her to go on to bed. I would figure it out.

Thirty minutes later, in tears and still lost, I had to admit defeat once again. Only one thing left to do. I called my husband. Woken from a dead sleep he could not figure out why I was calling him from the other side of our bed. But when I explained where I was and confirmed the time of day/night, he was suddenly wide-awake. I told him I would explain my behavior when I got home. (If I had told him at that moment he might not have led me back home!!) The tears started to flow. Once I was safely home there was never a more contrite spouse than me. I promised to never again play detective. I promised to stay out of our friend’s problems no matter how helpful I thought I could be.

And, whatever became of Mr. Scummy Husband and Pam? A few months later he left her for another woman in his office building. Evidently he was having to work those crazy hours so he could "take care of business" during regular hours.

Mr. Picassohead

originally posted on AOL 8/21/2005

I have not felt this artsy since I learned how to use an Etch-A-Sketch. If you have never been to this website you must check it out. The intent is to enable you to create your very own Picasso-like portrait. I got carried away and created three works of art (using that term verrry loosely) in the last two days and learned something about myself in the process. My desire for perfection is in conflict with my inner-Picasso. Each time I would start off great ... adding misshapen forms and oversized features but I could not stop. I wanted my art to resemble reality so I painstakenly reworked each feature. Not that the end result was reminiscent of Michanagelo or DaVinci but I felt better. My palms weren't sweaty, my heart was back to a normal rhythm, my facial tic had subsided but then, we all suffer for our art, right?

I was thrilled when I had company last evening and they commented on the pictures taped on my refrigerator. (wink) I think I'll go to Home Depot today and check on some track lighting for the kitchen.

http://www.mrpicassohead.com/canvas.html?id=a2b3e18

My three masterpieces are #407466 (My Bad Hair Day), 407485 (Presenting: Successful Surgery), and 407517 (Surprised!)

Directionally challenged - even on Memory Lane

This entry was originally posted on AOL, 8/5/2005. I have moved since that time and no longer have easy access to Josey Lane. More's the pity when gas is $3.50 a gallon and I spend too much time wandering around!

Why is it, when I have a 50 - 50 chance of getting it right, I consistently turn the wrong way? Was I born with an internal compass chip missing? Before I started to drive I never noticed, but from the first time I sat behind the wheel, I have never been certain - left or right? Don't even try to tell me something is North or South, East or West!

My dad still shakes his head when we talk about how confused I would get backing out of the driveway. During the time I had my learner's permit, I was allowed to drive the family to church. Now, I had been to the same church multiple times a week ever since we had moved to this town, but as I put the car in reverse and slowly backed out the driveway, I had to step on the brake, turn to my dad and ask, "Which way?" For a man who traveled for a living, he was not amused.

Luckily, I did not move often after I started to drive so eventually I paid enough attention to be able to get myself back home after a trip to the store. And, since I have lived in larger communities all of my adult life, I can eventually find anything I want in every direction. Yes, I meant to go this way!!

There is a major street near me and, if I can find my way to Josey Lane, I can survive! I have checked and in addition to the police station, the post office, a fire station, a public library, a hospital, dentists, eyecare and every imaginable type of medical doctor, I have access to multiple pharmacies, banks, gas stations, dry cleaners, department stores, and 17 varieties of drive through fast food all on this very special street. It gives me a peaceful feeling that I will not have to make any turns until I have reached my destination.

Everyone who is directionally challenged should have a Josey Lane nearby! Within a seven mile strip there is also a bakery, tailor, florist, locksmith, travel agent, humidor, and vet. I can get my shoes repaired, shop antiques, put my old clothes on consignment, arrange for insurance, get financial counseling, receive check cashing assistance, or put things in storage.

I can shop for groceries in at least three different languages. I can enjoy multiple buffets or sit down dining. To meet my personal needs, I can have my hair done, get a manicure, pedicure, facial, tan, exercise, or be tattooed. I can be tutored, take karate lessons, learn to dance, indulge my hobbies or find all my party supplies.

Without turning a corner I can hire a maid or temporarily staff my office, get my vacuum cleaner repaired, upgrade my computer, play pool, sing karaoke, rent videos, or receive physical therapy. I can go to rehab or buy discount shoes, cigarettes, tires and beauty supplies. My car will not lack for attention on Josey Lane since there I can purchase it gas, auto parts, have the oil changed, the brakes checked, as well as have it lubed or inspected. If I am ready for a change I can even replace it with a used car.

Yes, I have found nirvana and her name is Josey. But one thing is missing. There is no funeral home on Josey. But then, I do not have to worry about getting lost while trying to find it - someone else will be driving.

Introducing Miss L

This past Friday was a red letter day for me. My granddaughter, Miss L, actually spent the night at my house. This was a first. She is 14 months old and up until now, I have done all my babysitting at her place. I had agreed to watch her while her parents went out and they were planning to pick her up before they headed home. Logistically it was just going to be too many miles going in too many directions so I asked if we could make it a sleep over. I picked her up and then drove her to my place.

What fun we had! I had placed two stuffed animals on one of my chairs and maybe it was because they were at eye-level, or maybe because she is just so smart, Miss L made a beeline for the toys. She recognized the fun stuff right away.

Miss L is getting to the stage where she says a lot of things but mostly jabbers and you listen for any word you can pick out. You can tell she is telling you something because she will say the same "words" over and over and I just wish I could translate. She will repeat most of the words you ask her to say (which has put me on my best behavior when she rides in the car with me!) and gives a good effort to multiple syllables like "butterfly." My son in law is a big Cowboys fan and has taught Miss L to say, "Go, Romo!" I have been working with her on "Trick or Treat" and hope to surprise her mommy and daddy by the end of October. It is like having your own Mina bird that hugs and kisses.

Saturday morning when she finally woke up, I stood around the corner, out of view for a few seconds. Jabber, jabber, jabber, Nana, jabber. When she looked up and saw me she started to grin and melted my heart with a big, "Nana!" Whata sweetie!

I have started the "anything you want" fund. I think it will come in handy.

I feel like a scene out of Fiddler on the Roof!

Welcome to my new home,or rather my old new home. This is actually where I came when I got upset with AOL in 2005 for the banner debacle but I could never quite get the feel of it so I returned. I am determined to stay in touch with as many of my journal friends from AOL as possible. Please leave your link here.

Remember the scene in Fiddler on the Roof when the townspeople were driven out? That is much the way I feel at the moment. But, looking on the bright side, if we all come over here, and learn to add alerts, and learn to leave comments, and learn to add graphics and pictures, then I am certain we will be much happier!

I am just still in shock!

So, please leave a comment with your link to your new home. I will come visit as soon as I unpack!!

Donna

It's a matter of attitude

For some time now I have been making a conscious effort to improve my quality of life and focus on the positive things that happen around me. I can see and feel the difference. I look each day for at least three things that made me feel good, enhanced my life or benefited my personal growth. At the end of the day I write down the top three items that made my list. What this has done is help me continually look for things to put on my list throughout the day, trying to knock out one of the previous top three.

Not every day's list is earth shattering but even the subtle, seemingly insignificant things I have noticed make a positive difference. Here are just a few things that have been on my recent lists (1) New pictures of Layla. (2) I love the way my sheets feel against my skin. (3) Hit a great sale at Garden Ridge (4) The temperature dropped 10 degrees. Beautiful day. (5) My feather pillow is the best!!! (6) Started a new book. It's a fast read - love it. (7) Extra money today. (8) Tried a new recipe for spinach salad - love it!! (9) Found my lost butterfly earring. (10) Received two big compliments from Jeff and Marty. (11) The real cherry in my Sonic drink. (12) Sudoku

Rather than focus on the length and time it takes me to make a certain trip I have to drive frequently, I have started to purposely looked for the positive aspects of the drive . The construction on that entrance ramp is finally complete and I don't have to hold my breath as I maneuver through concrete barriers. I can see the Dallas skyline 20 miles away. I have learned which lane to be in for the fastest, smoothest travel. My toll tag keeps me from having to fish for change. My MPG improves. I have time to listen to the music on my ipod, starting with a different letter of the alphabet each time. Thank heaven for cell phones and open stretches of highway. NPR has some great programs! Bumper stickers. A glimpse of the string of red cars on the Six Flags roller coaster. A beautiful crimson and orange sunset. Yes, this change in attitude has made the trips go faster.

Now, we can't always avoid negative things from time to time but we do have a choice as to whether or not we let those negative people or actions influence us. Where it is possible, I avoid interacting with people that take pleasure in another's misfortune or who build themselves up by putting others down. Who needs that kind of negative energy? No one.

Making it a point to recognize the good things can change us positively. It can improve our quality of life and give us more energy. I know this is not original with me but it has dawned on me that I am working on my gratitude attitude. Excellent!!

In Memory of Dennis Thompson

Quite unexpectedly this past Thursday, a friend of mine passed away. He was 49. There was a memorial service held yesterday morning at the church where Dennis and his family attend. It is where I met Dennis over 20 years ago. I was not surprised that the auditorium, which I believe holds 600, was packed to overflowing. Dennis had touched so many lives.

Upon entering the service the music being played was a recording of Dennis singing. I learned later that he had made the CD of Christian hymns for his mother and had actually laid tracks for each musical part, singing them himself. Yes, he was very talented in that way. He wrote music, sang as part of various musical groups, arranged music and led our congregation's worship singing. He had a true gift.

Singing was just one of Dennis' many talents. He became a pilot before he was old enough to get his driver's license. He held a 4.0 GPA while earning a degree in Quantum Physics. He played several musical instruments. He was a professional computer programmer. He knew Greek and often researched scriptures for the Bible classes he taught. He was a consummate teacher. As someone shared at the service yesterday, he could explain the most complex problem to children and adults in a way that they would both understand. He had a scientific mind and a spiritual heart.

Dennis had a killer sense of humor and a dry wit I truly appreciated. He could be rather soft spoken but if you were within earshot, you could catch subtle nuggets that might otherwise go unnoticed. The last time I was around Dennis in a social setting was when he and his wife, Annette, included me in their "poker parties." We had run into each other at a local Texas Hold 'Em tournament and once they knew I shared the same interest they graciously invited me to join the fun at their house. Even though there was never any money involved, sitting at the table with Dennis was intimidating. I always preferred to watch him rather than go up against him and the only reason I ever beat him on a hand was because I was a novice and my logic was hard to figure. "You raised with just that? Well, well."

Dennis sang lead in a quartet and I loved to hear their barbershop arrangements. I wished I had made the effort to go to their last public performance.

Dennis taught deep, complicated topics at church. I wished I had chosen his classes more often.

Dennis was firm in his beliefs and understanding of how science fits into the Bible and creation. I wished I had discussed that with him more. I am sure I could have learned so much from his vast study.

Dennis helped mentor many people in their musical endeavors. I am sorry I did not have the talent to participate in any of those.

Dennis was a loving and faithful husband to Annette for 29 years. I am happy for her, mixed with a twinge of jealousy that I never experienced the same.

I remember the church talent shows, the couple's retreats, LTC, and youth activities where our paths crossed. I remember his bouts with serious medical conditions through the years but I never heard him complain. I remember teaching his daughter, Amy, and the Father-Daughter Day Olympics we had and how Amy stuffed his mouth with marshmallows and they raced around on tricycles and carried eggs on spoons. He was a serious participant and a good sport.

I recall the Fall Festivals where his entire family went all out in their costumes. They were a close-knit family and you could tell they enjoyed each other's company. From the slides I saw in the service yesterday I realized just how far that sense of humor went! How many fathers do you know will join their son in a public display of "hero worship" (Superman) just for the laughs? Yes, he was making memories and his children are enriched for his efforts.

As I heard Dennis' close friends and relatives share their thoughts with us yesterday I was struck with what a full and varied life he had led. And, in spite of his full time work and serious passtimes, he had obviously stayed in touch with friends and spent time involved with others. While his life was far too short, Dennis left a legacy that inspired me. I made a resolution to myself that, while I do not possess near the talents or intelligence of Dennis, I need to look beyond myself and live a more fulfilling life. And I will.

I am grateful to Dennis for what he gave, what he shared and what I learned from being his friend.

Where do I start - again?

Stretching some out-of-practice blogging muscles here tonight. Every week I think of different things I want to write about but it had been so long since I even logged into my AOL Journal or Blogspot I had to do a little digging this evening to get reconnected. I will probably stay under the radar for a while so I can clear out the cobwebs and get back into a regular habit of posting.

I checked to see if anyone still had my AOL Journal listed but I found I have been cleaned from most Recommended Journals columns. Who can blame them? It has been a year and a half since I consistently wrote anything. And, I suspect, I am still listed only on those journals where no one has bothered to update. I wonder how my old "friends" are? Maybe our paths will cross again.

Reading and writing have always been creative outlets for me and I have just not taken the time to do either for some time. After a memorial service yesterday morning in honor of a friend who passed too soon, and a lengthy conversation with my son last night, I gave myself a mental butt-kicking and decided to get back to some of the things I enjoy.

Yes, I enjoy my job but I have dedicated far too many hours with little more than self-satisfaction to show for it. Corporate America will let you run yourself into the ground and you will still only be rewarded with the standard annual increase and a few verbal kudos. Not to say the verbal kudos aren't appreciated but I must reconnect with the world beyond my office.

Wish me luck.

Catching up on Patrick's Saturday Six

I have seen several great "Saturday Six" entries over at Patrick's place so I am going to take the liberty of picking and choosing which ones I want to include in my journal. This is Episode 89, from December. Enjoy!

1. Which of the following generally costs you more: a normal trip to your barber/hairstylist, your usual lunch at your favorite restaurant, the most recent amount you paid to fill up your gas tank, or your biggest single contribution to a single charity in 2005?

It would have to be the amount of money I spent at the hairstylist. While my cumulative contributions are more, a single visit to maintain my low-maintenance hairstyle ranks higher than a single contribution.

2. What drink -- alcoholic or not -- do you drink entirely too much of?

If you know me, there is no doubt. I'll take a straight Dr Pepper any time!

3. Did you receive a Christmas card from anyone you didn't send one to? Did you send them a belated card in return?

Since I was moving right before Christmas, I never sent any Christmas cards. I had good intentions so now I am stuck with a ton of Christmas stamps that require a 2 cent stamp companion.

4. Take this quiz (if you haven't already!): What is most important in your life?

Career is most important in your life. Having a high focus on career indicates that you are extremely focused on furthering you career right now. You don't mind working late at the office or sucking up to your boss because you know it will pay off soon. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

5. Before taking the quiz, which of its categories (career, love, money, health, family or fun) would you have said would be your answer?

Since my kids are grown and on their own, it does not surprise me that my emphasis is on Career. I know in my heart that my family comes first.

6. Do you believe in soulmates? Do you think that there are at least one out there for every person, that there is a single "true" soulmate for every person, or that there aren't soulmates for everyone?

Yes, I believe there are soulmates and I believe there is one out there for everyone. It is a wonderful thing if you are fortunate enough to find yours.

Memories floating back...

I lost a friend this week and her passing caused me to stop and reflect over the many ways our lives had woven a tapestry in the last 25 years. We attended the same church while we were raising our children and K often commented that she wished her son would marry my daughter. In later years she just wished her son would marry anyone's daughter! We often tried to fix him up with first one and then another but he was shy and it never worked out. (Looks like he does have a serious girlfriend now. 'bout time!) When I returned to Texas last year K was one of the first to greet me and welcome me home.

There's a group of old friends that go out to eat every Sunday night after church and K and her husband were always there when she felt physically able. We often laughed and talked about events from our past and she was an appreciative audience of my silly side.

Driving home from visiting with K's family the other night I remembered something that made me laugh out loud. Another of my embarrassing moments I had not thought of in years!

Shortly after my ex and I divorced, the kids and I were invited to join several other families that were camping over the Labor Day weekend. These other families had trailers, campers, RVs, etc and were very experienced. K's daughter and new son in law came out for a day and brought their ski boat that could easily hold 8 adults or a dozen kids! Throughout the day, everyone was in and out of the water, having fun skiing and Mike patiently took a group out, brought them back and headed out with another load.

When the big innertube was tied to the back, I decided to take some pictures of my kids being bounced across the lake. Soon it looked like too much fun to pass up and the teens reluctantly let me take a turn. I had gone on that run as the only adult supervising the young ones while Mike drove the boat and had not intended to get wet again. I had changed into clothes that were the mode of the day, jean shorts and a big shouldered tshirt. (It was the early 90s and it was the days of bangs that defied gravity and designer tshirts in every color with coordinating earrings the size of half dollars. Anyone remember those?)

My young teen took pictures that preserved his mother making a fool of herself and after a few batterings from the wake, I had raccoon eyes from my mascara running and I looked like a drowning cat. But I was having a blast and laughing so hard at my feeble attempts to stay on and "ride the waves." Finally, I lost my grip and Mike dutifully came back around to pull me from the lake.

As he trolled up slowly so that I could swim over and climb aboard he tried to say something but he was a bit tongue-tied and stammered that he thought I had "lost something." Mike pointed next to me in the water and there, a few feet away, were two massive shoulder pads that had worked their way out of my oh-so-chic shirt and past the lifejacket. They were the flesh colored foam ones that were large and rounded on one end and tapered to flat on the other end. I could tell he was embarrassed, not certain of what he was witnessing from this friend of his mother in law. I scooped them up laughing, tried to squeeze out the water and show him, "They are just my shoulderpads!!" With a beet-red face, he just nodded his head, "Yeah, okay." and turned away.

After Mike and his new bride headed home that evening I shared the story with K and the other adults around the campfire. No one enjoyed my tale more than K. She would be pleased that I remembered and shared it here.

Old Habits Die Hard

“Hellooooo!” she said in her best Mrs. Doubtfire imitation. Yes, I am back after more than a month without access to the computer in my new home. I have missed reading your journal entries on a regular basis and I have really missed adding my own journal posts!

So often, in the last few weeks, something would happen and I would think of adding to my journal. Getting everything to work again, after the move, has been a technological nightmare but I have to credit my daughter with finally reconnecting me to the outside world.

I love to keep things light and funny in this little piece of cyberspace so let me recap some of the events that would have been part or all of a journal post in the last five weeks:

1. Chasing my prescription from the dentist across two parking lots, a street and a field during a recent windstorm.
2. Five visits to the dentist. My random thoughts while under the gas were certainly blog worthy!
3. Losing a temporary crown just as visitors from Corporate came to see our new office operations. That post would have been titled “Fixodent: A Little Dab Will Do Ya”
4. Having a cricket jump up my pants leg while I was on the phone at work.
5. Right after I moved, I unexpectedly found myself with no electricity in the middle of the night. I almost broke my neck stumbling over boxes as I tried to find candles and matches using the only available light … the glow from my dying cell phone.
6. “Fun with Duct Tape” (I had no idea it came in camouflage!)
7. Casino Night at the company Christmas party. I could do no wrong that night playing Texas Hold ‘Em poker and wound up going head to head against my boss.

Things are very busy at work and I am still trying to dig out from under the schtuff I felt compelled to move but I will make a concerted effort to get back in the habit of adding to my blog. I have missed journaling and am soooo glad to be back.

Make it a great day!

Donna